Tuesday, July 7, 2009

My Mini-Dissertation (or Soliloquy) on the Meaning of Life


So I've come to the conclusion that witnessing the birth of a child is one of the most profound events in life.

Before you say "DUH, you silly child!" bear with me (no pun intended, I promise!).

I was so honored when Tiff told me that I could be present for the delivery, and Lily Noel's was the first birth that I have ever witnessed. It was a moving experience. Truly, my feelings have been all over the place the past 24 hours, but this morning I settled down a little more and I think I realized how powerful the experience was and what an impact it had on me. I was sitting in class this morning and I couldn't understand why everyone was acting so normal. I had this little conversation with myself (this is where the soliloquy comes in...look it up, new fav word) :

"Wait, life goes on? No, something is different. What happens now? What do I do with myself? I shouldn't be here! I should be...celebrating or something, I don't know!"

It was very strange. Then I wanted to stand up and say,

"Do you people have ANY idea about what I just witnessed? Do you understand at all? Do you know what my friend just went through? ROBOTS, all of you!"

But thankfully I did not. Soliloquy ended.

I now also have some sort of idea about growing up, you know, those surreal moments when you realize that you are actually an adult and yes, that life is actually happening in these epic yet small moments. I always wondered how adult friends feel towards each other's children, and until recently I hadn't discovered how truly powerful the feeling is. I have 9 little nieces and nephews (related and "adopted") and I love each one of them more intensely than I expected to. They are all so precious.

And for the future deliveries that I will be a part of, I will now just assume that this feeling of awe and amazement will happen every time - a glance into the things of God, pain and beauty all jumbled together to make something miraculous, with 10 tiny perfect fingers and toes.

Now will someone please give me an honorary degree in Philosophy or something? Book deal, anyone? Any takers? No?

1 comment:

  1. I can't give you a book deal but I'm so glad you were there to see the miracle of lily. Can't wait til it's one of your own:)

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