Wednesday, February 22, 2012

twins: I heard but didn't believe (until now).

So, twins.

I was supposed to go visit another twin mama friend today. We planned it out last night: I would wake up at 6:45 a.m., get the girls loaded, take Andy to work, come back, do naps and get ready, do second nap, and then head over whenever they woke up. Then, I would pick Andy up at 3:00, take him to a job interview (!), and wait for him while visiting another friend who lives close by. This is all considering the girls cooperate. Ha! 

For some strange reason, both girls decided to be up from 3 a.m. to 5:30 a.m. this morning. We did recently take the binkies away at night, but they've been doing well, so I'm not sure what happened. When Andy woke me up to see if I still wanted to take him to work, I told him to just go ahead; I didn't want to wake them after the last few hours.

Wouldn't you know it, five minutes after he leaves, they're both awake and ready to play.

Gahhhhhhh.

I wanted to cry, but had no energy. After a peek out the window, I see so much rain. Brilliant! Not only are we up early, but we also won't be going outside at all. I start praying fervently that they will be in the best moods of their short little lives today. After this morning, chances are slim.

Lesson One:

If these are your first children, it may take you months longer to adjust. I have some friends who, a week or so after having their baby, were already out for breakfast or visiting friends or going to church. We haven't been to church since July, and our home community attendance is hit-or-miss. I want breakfast so bad I can taste it. I want to go and do like we used to, and I can't. It's hard.

I'm quick to berate myself and wonder why I can't get it together to be out and social like before, and maybe the reason is because I'm lazy, or doing something wrong, or being too strict with their naps. I know part of the reason is because we only have one car, so if I don't take him in the morning, I'm neighborhood-bound. But none of the other reasons are true. So I've realized that I need to have double the grace in this area, and realize that it's simply harder when you're juggling two little baby schedules.

So if you're new at this like I am, be kind to yourself and don't compare or expect to be able to handle a singleton mom's load with only one of you and two of them. Know that however long it takes you to adjust is the right amount of time for you. Pretty soon you'll have it down. I'm hoping I do.

9 comments:

  1. oh please post more things like this. we're expecting twin boys next month and I'm trying very hard to get rid of any and all expectations, but it's so nice to hear a little reassurance from another mama who has been there and done that. :)

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    1. Kristin, I will! I've been a little hesitant to lay it all out on the blog because I'm not used to blogging about mom stuff, but I'm realizing that it helps me and can possibly help other people, too. I'm finally accepting the fact that I am a "Mom" and I need to let my writing lead me in that direction :)
      Congrats on your twin boys! Keep cooking those babes as long as possible!!

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  2. Ah, one of those days, huh? Be kind to yourself mama. It's hard to let go of expectations and go with the flow sometimes. The truth is, this is just a season in your life and you won't always be tied to nap schedules and satisfying the every need of the littlest people in your life. I know it feels like your life as you knew it is over (and in some ways it is), but soon your little girls will be much more portable and you'll fall into a great little routine. My twins are only a few months older than yours and it's already getting easier. :)

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    1. Thank you, Allison. That is so good to hear from someone who is right in the thick of it!

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  3. I love this post -- I don't have twins, but I totally relate to the last paragraph anyway. I felt HORRIBLE for not being "adjusted" to motherhood sooner. We planned my daughter's naming ceremony for 4 1/2 months after she was born, thinking we'd be on a schedule by then and it'd be no big deal. HA. I've been to church 6 times since she was born at the end of May, and we've gone out to breakfast with her twice. So whoever these super moms are, I am definitely not one of them.

    Having babies is SO HARD. You are doing an awesome job -- I'm giving you a round of applause through my computer screen. :)

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    1. Thanks Courtney :) While I admire super moms, I'm coming to accept the fact that I'm not one, and that's OK with me (most of the time). I read an interesting article from a working mom who addresses "super moms" and the mom-type portrayed in movies like "I Don't Know How She Does It" and her answer was "Not Well." I didn't read the book or see the movie, but I appreciated her honesty and it made me feel better.

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  4. megan, take heart!

    i have no idea what it's like to be a mommy of two - or one for that matter - but I believe in you! it must be terribly challenging to be jugging two little baby schedules! But I know that you're an amazing wife, mother and friend and with a little grace and time you'll get back to your regular schedule in due time.

    I'll be keeping you, Andy and the girls in my prayers!

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  5. I have twin daughters and they are already 6years old.
    In Japan we have twin circle but we don't have a communication space through the interest.
    To attend a twin circle was very difficult.So I didn't know how to raise my twins.
    My mother lived far from my apartment when my twins were babies.and more our old apartment didn't have elevator even though we liked on the fifth floor.
    At that time my husband was so busy and he came home almost midnight every day.
    I didn't know what to do without any help.

    I envy you to have a communication space like this.

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