Friday, January 31, 2014

thinking about motherhood: the culture of the home.

Chalk it up to pregnancy hormones but now that I'm in the second trimester and feeling much better, my patience level and all-around attitude has much improved.

I felt so bad for my girls for the last two months, like they really got the short end of the stick. I had a hard time caring for them, it was a good day if I kept them fed and napped. It's a feeling of guilt that I had to come to terms with, and tried to be as honest with them about how I didn't feel good but I still loved them and they were "very special" to me. Andy took on the majority of the work and he's still recovering.

I've also realized quite a few things while laying like a lump on the couch:

  • As the primary caregiver and home-tender, I'm 99.9% responsible for the culture of our home
  • A smile, hug, and cuddle goes a looooong way
  • Kids are super smart, honesty is the best policy (as far as they can understand)
  • Having a semi-tidy house makes everything better, because it creates a life of balance and lowers the stress of parents & caregivers
  • A hearty home cooked meal does the body SO GOOD. 
As I've slowly started to emerge from the fog of nausea, I've read two books that have had a deep impact on me and I'd encourage you to check them out, too. They are written by Christian authors, but there are tons of gold nuggets in there for people of any belief: 


Desperate: Hope for the Mom Who Wants to Breathe by Sarah Mae & Sally Clarkson

They are both life-giving, encouraging books that have renewed my admiration for my kids, confirmed our mutual humanity (thus lowering unrealistic expectations of all of us) and inspired me to commit to taking responsibility for cultivating the culture of our home. I'm only halfway through Desperate, but I know for absolutely sure that I will be more Sally Clarkson this year. 

I'd love to write more about these books and this idea of Culture over the coming months, and to get your input on some simple but profound ideas about the details and nuances of motherhood. 


  1. that first trimester fog of nausea is THE WORST. I agree with all your points especially the second last one, organization and tidiness goes a long way in bringing a calming quality to the home :) some days that's easier said than done!

  2. Pregnancy is difficult on its own but I understand the complications of caring for other children in the midst of the chaos!! Don't be hard on yourself! Children are surprisingly good at adjusting and understanding! You are being the best Mommy you can be and the fact that this has bothered you shows how much you care!! I wish you the best in this pregnancy!

  3. SO TRUE. I still haven't caught on up any laundry...I'm guessing it never will be so I'm letting it go at that ;)

  4. Thank you so much Shana and you are right! It's easy to be really gung ho now that I feel better, but after I tried to do a bunch of stuff in one day, I was laid out flat on the couch by 6pm. Baby steps! :)


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