Monday, February 9, 2015

currently: ladies of the dance



January is such a ho-hum, month, isn't it? And not for lack of trying. It's just a little bleh. Up here in the Pacific Northwest we see a few days of beautiful sun throughout the month but for the most part, it's grey and foggy and either misting or raining or alternating between the two.

I made the decision this fall that I would not fall victim to a sad winter; we would keep busy and do some activities. So, I signed the girls up for a Creative Dance class, gymnastics, and then we alternate a little bible study/mom's group another day. One to two days at home and then Andy home on the weekends, and there ya go, there's our month gone by in a flash. I joined in on a weekly ballet class, and am looking forward to yoga starting up again.

I am loving the girls' Creative Dance class. It's not about technique or learning specific sequences, it's about feeling the dance and just giving the kids the freedom to move their bodies without any pressure to perform or be "right."

The teacher is sweet and warm with the kiddos (6 little girls in tutus) and she does the most creative prompts. "Today I brought my feathers!" Then she takes her imaginary feathers, puts them on each girl's head, and they become feathers. She does snowflakes and poofs and kitties and all sorts of variations with props like hula hoops and silk scarves. They do a sweet little stretch, practice pointing and flexing their toes, then at the end of class all the mothers come in, we stand in a circle together, and each little girl dances in the middle of the circle to show off her moves.

I've gotten better at not laughing out loud - these girls are soo sweet and when they dance it's the funniest thing. Ruthie, at the first class, just galloped around in the middle of the circle. Literally, she galloped. I think my lip bled from biting it so hard, trying not to break down laughing. She has since expanded her repertoire to twirls and hops but I will always, always remember that gallop. I've stored it in my heart and I'm sure that one day, when she's a teenager and we are at odds over something, that image of her proudly galloping around like a pony with her little toddler booty in a leotard will pop into my head and I won't be able to keep from chuckling.

Afton, on the other hand, is a more coordinated kid. She will be a natural later in life at whatever physical activity she puts her mind to, if she can learn the patience. Her favorite move right now, besides twirls, is a toddler-version of an arabesque. She easily balances on one leg and just seems to have a knack for moving. Since I struggle in that area I'm glad for her - maybe she'll stick with dance! But she also doesn't have the determination that Ruthie does to learn and master something.

I can see that an activity like this will really booster their self-confidence and their self-consciousness. I'm hoping activities like this at a young age will burn "dance like no one is watching! " into their psyches.

What activities are you up to this season? 



Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Setting Yourself Up for Breastfeeding Success {31 Days of Postpartum Health & Healing}

There are so many ways to prepare for birth: exercises, visualizations/prayer, reading books, and taking classes...but no one can really prepare you for breastfeeding. It is an experience that is different for every woman and every baby! Some take to it easily, and for some it's a hard-won battle.

My good friend just had a darling baby girl and like many new mothers, breastfeeding has been a struggle. Why is something that is so natural so difficult? I found this to be true for all three of my kids, but fortunately had the wonderful resources available to make it work, even after being told by the NICU doctor that I didn't make enough milk and probably wouldn't, and having all three need frenotomies for tongue and lip ties. It was not an easy journey by any means, but I'm of the stubborn sort and I had the help of a wonderful lactation consultant. 

I recently stood at my kitchen counter after texting with my friend and quickly jotted down the top 10 basic "tips" I would give to a new mom. I hope they help someone! (For the purposes of ease and because I have three daughters, I'm referring to baby as Her and She.) As a reminder, the information below is not intended to be medical advice. I am not a medical professional or a board-certified lactation consultant, so please consult with one of these, preferably a board-certified lactation consultant, for any and all of your breastfeeding difficulties. 

1. Get comfortable and go skin-to-skin!

The enemy of getting your baby to latch comfortably is an anxious, tightly-wound mama. Babies are kind of like animals - they can sense fear and tension. Let her know you've got this so she can relax and do that hard work of learning how to get milk out of your increasingly-engorging breasts!

Get comfortable by using regular pillows or a nursing pillow. Prop yourself up so you won't be hunching over, and support your elbows. You may even want to try a little biological breastfeeding and lean back in a semi-reclined position - especially if you have overactive letdown. Go to the bathroom. Have your water/book/snack/remote handy. Suck on a Rescue Remedy lozenge. Put on relaxing music. Do whatever it takes to get relaxed. Get that shirt off, undress that baby, and get your cuddle on!

2.  Do not wait until baby is starving!

This is really important! If your baby is already having trouble getting a good latch and is also starving, this is the perfect storm for a freak-out. You could be the most relaxed, hydrated, and prepared mama ever but if your baby is hangry, it's not going to go well. Learn infant cues for hunger (crying is a late cue) and be watching for them - you're already staring at your gorgeous baby anyways, so get to know her hunger cues. Practice latching on and positioning BEFORE she's reached Hangry status!

It takes 2-5 days, or anywhere in between, for a mother's milk to fully come in. The clear colostrum at the beginning is nourishment, and enough of it, plus antibodies and nutrients! A newborn's tummy is incredibly tiny - we're talking teaspoon(s) - and that liquid is the best thing for her and the only thing she needs. So please don't assume your baby will be pounding 3 ounces per feeding from day one, or let expert-whoever tell you that you "aren't producing enough." You honestly can just not know this for a fact until many days or sometimes weeks later. Did you know that it can take up to three months for your supply to fully establish itself? And pumping is not even a good indicator of how much you are actually making.

Just go ahead and assume that you're making exactly what your precious little baby needs and let her nurse as much and as often as she wants.

3. Check latch and positioning

OK, so you've caught baby before she's hangry, got yourself comfy, and brought her to your body. Now, you can make sure she's latched correctly. Proper positioning is mostly based on preference and there is no one "right" way - you can do a traditional cradle hold, football hold, or follow the ideas of "biological" breastfeeding.

Now, the reality is that if you're having your baby at a hospital, you may not be surrounded by the most encouraging or knowledgeable nurses. Many of them are lactation "experts" but not board-certified lactation consultants (IBCLC). I'm not saying that all nurses are this way, but bad advice and misinformation happens. They have rounds to make, a clock to watch, and if you need help, like it or not, you're their patient, thus you're on the clock. Please don't let a rushed nurse rush you to feed your baby, especially if he or she is not an actual IBCLC. Have someone present who can support you regardless of who is making the rounds.

Watch your baby latch. Is it too shallow? Is baby chewing on the nipple? If needed, take baby off the breast and start again to get a better latch. This is where YouTube videos come in handy:




If latch is correct and still very painful after two weeks, this is the sign of an issue and more questions should be asked (preferably in partnership with an IBCLC). The first and most important is checking for tongue and/or lip tie. If severe, as in the case of all three of my girls, then they do need to have treatment by an ENT to release the tie. Sometimes if the tie is mild, it can be stretched. This is where the knowledge and experience of a lactation consultant who has knowledge and experience diagnosing ties is invaluable. There are many different kinds of ties and not all are obvious, and not all ties need to be treated.

4. Slow down, slow wayyyyy down

Let's go a little woo-woo here. I love me some woo-woo! But also, there's science. Heard of Pavlov? Deep breathing exercises can encourage a quicker letdown, with the benefit of relaxing your body.

I mentioned earlier to grab the remote/book while getting comfy but here's a caveat: sometimes it's better to simplify, simplify. There are so many distractions and we live in a world that values multitasking. Maybe that's part of the problem; we think we should be able to do things quickly, easily, we're used to the touch-of-a-button lifestyle. But a newborn isn't a button, right? Try putting down other stimuli, getting comfy, taking some deep breaths. Just BE. There is plenty of time for books/TV/phone conversations while nursing later, when you and the baby are down to a rhythm. But that can take some time.

I love the affirmations of Leslie Davis in her Mothering article Breathing In: Breastfeeding as a Spiritual Practice. She writes,

"Breathing in, I am nursing my lovely baby. Breathing out, I am mother. I tried several hundred variations on this theme: Breathing in, I love my baby. Breathing out, I feel calm. Breathing in, my baby wants milk. Breathing out, milk flows freely."

Pick some of your own tailor-made affirmations and say them as you nurse your little one. See what happens!

The tips for encouraging letdown near the bottom of this KellyMom article are excellent.

5. Have supplies ready

So we often read that "breastfeeding shouldn't hurt!" and while that is true for the long run, it is also true that your nipples may be a little sore at the beginning (just like the rest of you!). Almost all mothers experience some sort of nipple soreness or pain. Have a nursing basket ready with nipple cream or coconut oil, cotton breast pads, snacks, a water bottle, and whatever else you need. Invest in a good bra with no underwire and an all-cotton sleeping bra. Keep everything handy so you don't have to get up from your nursing "station."

6. Throw out the idea of a "schedule"

For those who thrive on schedules, I hate to be the one to break it to you but I'm doing it for your own well-being. Newborn babies rarely, if ever, have any type of schedule. Plan on spending most of your days at the beginning nursing, preparing to nurse, finishing up nursing, eating, taking a bathroom break, or snoozing with baby.  But that is really all should plan to do the first little while. Your baby will want to eat between 10-12 times per day for varying amounts of time. She may want to go a few hours between nursing sessions or she may want to "cluster feed" and eat every 20 minutes. This doesn't mean you aren't making enough milk - that's just what your little bundle wants to do. It's all very normal, and takes a little bit of surrender on mom's part to follow baby's lead.

If you can do this, truly, you'll be setting yourself up for a rewarding relationship with your baby that will (eventually) astound you in its beautiful symbiosis.

7. Read and ask questions

There are invaluable resources online for the nursing mother. Get lost on these sites and glean some awesome information. Three of the most helpful sites, in my opinion, are:

KellyMom (example: Breastfeeding Your Newborn)

La Leche League (example: "How can I tell if my baby is getting enough milk?" and Nipple Pain)

Breastfeeding Basics (example: Establishing Your Milk Supply: Starting Out Right)

Three excellent books are:

The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding

Breastfeeding Made Simple: Seven Natural Laws for Nursing Mothers

Ina May's Guide to Breastfeeding

8. Eat and drink enough

Breastfeeding burns a lot of calories. Basically, your diet should look similar to the patterns you followed during pregnancy - assuming they were healthy. Lots of good fats (especially coconut products!) protein, green leafy veggies, and liquids. Soups are convenient and you can make/have someone make a big pot and feast off of it for a few days. Same with stews! Even a good ol' nut butter and jelly sandwich is great fuel for a nursing mom.

A good practice is drinking a glass of water before you begin breastfeeding. You don't need to go overboard and be OVERhydrated, as this can cause problems too, but you do want to keep all the juices flowing in your body with a good amount of liquids, and that will probably be a different amount for different people. Use your best judgement.

9. Hire a knowledgeable lactation consultant

I know what it is like to dread nursing your baby because of the discomfort or anxiety, or to feel like something is just not quite right. Guess what? You now have the gift of a mother's intuition, and this is something you should heed. The best way for you to set yourself up for success if you're struggling is to PROactively seek help from a very experienced and highly recommended IBCLC (International Board Certified Lactation Consultant). Sometimes this simple request for help will make or break your breastfeeding relationship. Don't hesitate to seek professional help. Many bill insurance, too.

Need help finding an IBCLC? I wrote a post on that, too. Or ask around on Facebook. Mothers will love to share if they've had a good experience with someone!

10. Reframe your brain: Give yourself grace and surround yourself with encouraging supporters. Naysayers and negative talk is not allowed!

This goes along with relaxation: stress can actually lower your supply. It's true. Instead of thinking about this process in black or white - success or failure - think of it as part of the journey. Your baby has been earthside only hours. Give her and yourself a break and take the time necessary to dig in and work at it. It's not a burden, and if you think of it in those terms, then you'll most likely throw in the towel.

Don't let negative people speak negatively into this process. Post a sign on your front door, if need be. You don't need to hear anyone's horror stories. This is YOUR story, let it unfold and, as difficult as it may be when the going gets tough, enjoy the journey. It is over much too soon.

Also: Check out this awesome Tear-Sheet Toolkit from La Leche League - printables on positioning, feeding cues, common concerns, etc. for your own reference, and free!

I also have a lot of breastfeeding information listed on my Twins Resource page. 

What would you add to this list to make sure a new mom knows? 


{This post contains Amazon affiliate links. A purchase through these links provide me a small comission}

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

the new year resolutions I'm NOT making...

Time has come for our New Years' Resolution(s)!

If you have a personality like me, this is a death sentence for actually setting and achieving any goals. I work best going by inspiration and instinct, and setting short term goals in chunks are so much easier to accomplish. This is especially true as I've become the mother and keeper of three small children, and a shower, much less an exercise routine, isn't guaranteed every day.

In light of this year I am not making specific New Years' Resolutions. Instead, I'm going to continue feeling out each day as it comes and seeing what self-care I can fit in and what I need to leave on the back burner. You may be reading this and dreading my life. That would be OK! Or, you may be doing a happy dance inside because you're not alone!



Here are five common resolutions that I am NOT making:

1. Get Fit and/or Do Yoga Every Day

Running around with small kids gives me an advantage, as I barely sit down some days. And I love yoga. In a class. Where I have to get dressed, leave the house, show up on time, and put away everything else for an hour and have someone else correct my unimpressive downward dog. It isn't going to happen at home. I can count on one hand the times I did yoga in my living room last year. Not for lack of wanting to! I'm such that I need to a) pay money so I'm accountable and b) leave the house. Unless we get rich and I can hire a nanny every day, this is really not happening. I'll take classes as they fit into our family schedule and really, really enjoy them.

2. Meal Plan and Save Money on Groceries

OK, I'm trying on this one. I want to master the menu plan. But, see, why have chicken on Thursday when you can have chili and cornbread instead? I try to plan and do my best but if I can bring down our grocery budget and flexi-plan, I'll be very satisfied. Sites I like for meal planning help or inspiration is Don't Waste the Crumbs, Deliciously Organic, Nourishing Gourmet and Once Upon a Chef!

3. Lose the Baby Weight

This isn't a bad goal to make and I realize I come from a privileged place here, because I don't have a lot to lose. In fact, Andy asked me if I wanted to do a free month of CrossFit with him. I said No. The bottom line is that I am not making as much milk as I did with the girls and I eat basically enough to sustain what I have. If I add on intense exercise, I don't want to have to pick up the slack (eating, resting, etc.) in the other areas of my life. Some might call that laziness, but I call it Being Realistic and taking care of myself. Maybe later this year, but not right now.

4. Get Organized

Sigh. I'm just embracing this part of me. My house is not very cluttered (barring December, that month was chaotic with two back to back trips and I barely unpacked), except for my kitchen mudroom desk area and sometimes the kitchen counters and then our room, which is very small, as we haven't quite figured out how to best store our clothes. But the picture in my mind of an all-white house immaculately curated with barely anything inside is completely unattainable. And I'm sentimental. I WANT to keep your Christmas card up all year, so I can think about you when I see it! The William Morris saying, "Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful" well, I can make a case for 95% of the things in my house to be useful (for reminding me of someone or something) and beautiful (because it reminds me of something or someone!) The other 5% I can work on.

The most I am going to require of myself is keeping track of bills, business receipts, and actual outside commitments. The rest can be tackled as inspiration hits. I picked up a new 2015 planner from the Target $1 bin and I'm calling it GOOD!

5. Drink Less.

One word: WHY?

So those are the New Year's Resolutions I'm not touching with a ten foot pole this year, unless I feel like it (classic ENFP). Not that any of these are bad, or that setting resolutions is an automatic failure. Some people excel! If you've set these goals, I am rooting for you and want you to be successful! But for me, this will end in guilt and failure. However, I did make one really awesome resolution that I MIGHT be able to achieve and one resolution I KNOW I can be better at:

1. Go to Bed Earlier.
2. Give More Hugs.

Happy New Year!

Share with me your resolutions! Or your un-resolutions! Just because I'm not making them doesn't mean I don't love to hear about your plans...I love plans.