Saturday, August 23, 2014

baby's #3's home birth story!

Baby #3 came into the world at 3:55 AM on July 25th. If you want the condensed version, here it is: I had a 2 hour home birth. That's it! If you're a birth junkie like me, longer version below. 





At my 37 1/2 week appointment, my midwife Alisha asked if I'd like her to check my dilation. I hadn't had any internal exams this entire pregnancy, but my braxton hicks had been consistent and felt "productive" over the previous weekend, and we were still gunning for me to reach at least 39 weeks. So when she laughed and said, "girlfriend, you're at 5 cm!" I was a little shocked! We were still in talks with my mom and my mother-in-law about when they should come, when we think the baby might come, things that are impossible to know but that you keep talking about over and over because it's just the thing on everyone's minds.

It just so happened that my mom had decided to drive my little sister and two of her friends up the 4 1/2 hour drive for a concert on Tuesday and planned to leave the next morning. "She should probably plan on staying if she wants to be here for it," Alisha recommended, "When it happens, it's going to happen fast."

After my appointment, I drove straight to Trader Joe's and bought more food. To any outsider who didn't know I was expecting, they would have assumed I was planning for the Big One or for a zombie apocalypse...I couldn't stop buying food!

After calling my mom and telling her the news (and her passing that on to my dad, who then passed the word on to his large family that I was in labor and the baby was coming, oh dad!), mom packed an extra bag just in case and they headed up for the concert while anticipating the birth happening at any moment. My friend Tiffany was also planning to be at the birth and she cancelled a weekend trip she had planned, too.

We all went to the concert, but besides the usual BH, nothing that night. Nothing on Wednesday. Thursday I was tired of sitting on the edge of my seat and figured that I would just be walking around at 5cm for the next two weeks. We booked mom a plane ticket home for Friday morning and decided to make Thursday a "forget about birth and have fun day." We ran the last of the before-baby errands, went to lunch, and just enjoyed the day.

Late Thursday night, at 38 weeks, the Braxton Hicks picked up again and I got into another cleaning and organizing mode. These frenzies had happened before so I was trying not to think too much of it, but at this point I was feeling like maybe these contractions were a little bit different...they weren't painful, it was just more pressure than usual and I would get a little bit out of breath. Mom and Andy were having an involved discussion in the dining room while I frantically moved boxes and cleaned counters and made padsicles and went to and fro around them. My little chatty Cathys didn't even notice until I finally stopped and said, "sorry to interrupt, but I think I'm definitely having real contractions. I don't know what this means, but I just wanted to let you know. Andy, can you take this box down to the basement?"

Hot showers do speed up some women's labors, but every time I've taken a shower in the past, any contractions would stop. I figured that would be a good barometer to gauge how real this was, so as I stood in the shower and contractions went away, I decided that it must be a false alarm once again. No biggie! Mom's leaving tomorrow, so I wanted baby to stay in until she could come back.

As we all turned in around midnight, I remember thinking, "If a contraction wakes me up, then I will know it's the real thing."

At 1:30 am, a big contraction woke me out of a dead sleep. Okayyy! Go time? I went to the bathroom, got a drink of water, and didn't feel anything else until 2:00. Then, they started like clockwork. I woke Andy up and told him to call Alisha, wake mom up, and text Tiffany. It was go time.

Andy and mom filled up the birth tub in the living room while I wandered around doing last minute things as it felt much better to be standing up moving around. I put on my gemstone birth bracelet that my friends had made me at my "blessing," mixed my version of this Coconut & Lime Labor Aid, and felt ready. When a contraction would come, I would just lean my head against a wall, step, or counter and do my deep breathing until it passed. They were 3-5 minutes apart, for 30 seconds to one minute. They were strong! Not especially painful, just intense.

As the pool filled, they noticed some silty stuff in the bottom. We decided it must be sand or sediment and I had a moment of sheer panic as I considered the possibility of not being able to be in the water. Mom and Andy tag-teamed and stopped the water, lifted the liner out of the pool, dumped it outside and turned it inside out in record time.



At this point it was 2:30 and I was in the kitchen with the lights off timing contractions while leaning against the counter as Alisha arrived and started setting up. We hadn't heard from Tiffany, so Andy called and texted her husband...also with no answer. I had a sinking feeling that maybe her phone was dead and that she would miss it all!

My mom was standing in the kitchen doorway watching me - she wanted to be there in case I needed anything. But what I wanted most was to be alone. So I said, "I'm good - you can go out," and I waved her away. What I meant was for her to just step into the dining room so that she was still there and so I could see her through the cut out, but just not right there. But, dear mom that she is, went into the living room by the pool and sat in the chair by the corner. I later kept wondering where she was and looking for her. When Alisha set up her gear and came into the kitchen with me, she said, "is your mom coming?" and I said, "She's already here!" Alisha had set up all her stuff in the living room and hadn't noticed poor mom off in her corner! I will always laugh about that memory and feel bad that my mom thought I told her to go away away.

The contractions were coming quickly and regularly, gaining in intensity. What felt best was to be standing or leaning over the kitchen counter, then when a wave came on again, breathing deeply through it counting slowly to 8 on each inhale and exhale and consciously picking a spot in my body and relaxing it, anything, like loosening my jaw or by wiggling my fingers (something I gleaned from my yoga class) and humming (sounding) in a low tone. This helped immensely. I was able to get into my zone and stay there and remember thinking, "this isn't so bad!" I mean, in relative terms.

Alisha would apply counter pressure to my lower back and as the contractions got really strong, bending down into a deep squat was the only thing that took the pressure off, then later, getting onto all fours and rocking back and forth.

At 3:15, Alisha said it was time for me to get in the tub. It was either transition or almost time to push! I climbed in the tub and OH, it felt reeeaaallly good. The water was warm, the bottom of the pool was cushy, and I could hang over the side on my knees and relax into a squat. Ahhh. My acupuncturist had come too and began to apply acupressure to my back as the contractions came. I also asked again, "Where is Tiff?" Mom moved to a closer chair with the camera and Andy crouched next to me to hold my hand.



The last part of the girls' labor that I could feel was at 8cm, before I had the epidural. So now, I was in brand new territory. It still is hard to explain. It's Pressure. Lots of pressure...but not exactly excruciating...I don't know. I could FEEL the baby making her way down the birth canal which was really bizarre but incredible and spiritual and mind-boggling at the same time.

I had two more strong contractions in the pool before my body started pushing. I say "my body" because it was completely involuntary. All of sudden, I was pushing! It was like a dance between my brain, my baby, and my body. My body would start to push, so my brain would say, "help it!" and I would feel the baby moving down, but I had to remember to not let my brain take over, but to work in partnership with what my body was trying to do.

It was kinda crazy but really...and this may sound weird, but...totally Zen. Otherwordly. Alisha's voice was in the background, coaching me through it gently, reminding me that if I wasn't having a contraction, I could stop pushing to keep the baby from coming too fast. Andy had my hand and I felt Colleen's hands working down my spine, all working together as a team beautifully.



I remember being super conscious of this process and sometimes the sensations would take me off guard. While we were talking about it afterwards, Andy said at one point I got this questioning look on my face while in a contraction, and I was groaning but it was like a question - "uhhhh???" I think that was the point when I felt the head crowning, and right after I said out loud, "THAT'S a baby!"

"Baby's crowning," the midwives agreed, and everyone was shocked. This WAS fast! It was probably around 3:40 at this point. Alisha said, "OK, probably one more push" and she was right, after the push I felt her head come out, then a big push or two and her body slid out. The midwives sat me back in the pool and brought my little baby through to me - holy crap! That's a baby I just pushed out! Right there! At 3:55 AM! They dipped a blanket in the warm water and wrapped it around us as we sat back in the pool and reveled at this new little life who, two hours ago, was still chilling inside of me!



A few minutes later, there's a knock on the door - Tiffany! She missed it by mere minutes!

We hadn't found out the sex, so after a few minutes we tried to peel back the blanket to take a look, but baby was NOT having it and started crying loudly. Ok, ok! We can wait to look. We didn't find out the gender until about 20 or 30 minutes later, after I had delivered the placenta and got out of the tub and onto the couch.

A girl!

miss Dylan Kay.


And the great part is the girls slept through the whole thing, even sleeping in a little!

Some births are a marathon...but this one was a sprint. And it was awesome. I couldn't have asked or wished for better and feel very fortunate to have had this healing experience. Not all mothers need "redeeming" births, but my heart really wanted one. I'm so thankful. And home births, well, they rock. Welcome to our family, Dylan!


3 comments:

  1. I've been waiting for your story! So beautiful and perfect! I'm so thankful it was redemptive for you - a true blessing :) xoxo

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  2. Congratulations! Three little girls - how lovely! The big sisters look suitable impressed and you look great Megan. Well done!

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  3. Omigosh, Megan, you are amazing. =) Been reading your postpartum posts this evening and read backwards to this one. I'm totally inspired by this and sorry to hear you're having a tough time post-birth. Best wishes. Let me know if I can help or if you need some fun hangout time!

    Also congrats on the new blog design!

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